6. ASK for what you need.

This was a crucial takeaway point for me, gleaned during the very first presentation of the conference. Charmaine Hammond told a great story about how she asked Jack Canfield of Chicken Soup for the Soul fame to write an endorsement for her book. He said “yes” even though he normally doesn’t do endorsements. Sometimes we assume something is out of our reach, but we don’t really know until we ask for it.

It’s funny, because in my copywriting role, I understand the power of “asking”. I write a lot of fundraising letters for nonprofit organizations. Sometimes I get feedback from the client that the “ask is too strong” or that there are “too many asks”. To which I reply: “What is the purpose of this letter?” If they respond: “To raise money,” I remind them: “Then you have to ASK for it — and you usually have to do it more than once!”

Yet, when it comes to personal or business matters, I sometimes forget this crucial point. You have to ask for what you need. You may not get what you ask for, but you certainly won’t get it if you never ask in the first place.

7. Engage your audience and build relationships (using social media as a tool)

I took this point away from Narges Nirumvala’s passionately delivered workshop. Sites like Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter aren’t that useful if you simply post up a profile and forget about it. Social media gives you an opportunity to build relationships and really connect with other like-minded people – all over the world! For writers and authors, social media sites provide a fantastic vehicle to build a solid platform of people who enjoy reading what you write.

I’ve “tweeted” more in this past week since the conference than since I first opened my Twitter account in late 2009. I feel I’m truly an active participant in a community of like-minded folks. Incidentally, traffic to my website so far in May is more than double than it was in April. Thanks Narges!

8. Just Write It. (Just Post it.) Just Do it!

This point jumped out at me during the informative and fast-paced session presented by Lorraine Murphy, aka raincoaster. I laughed when she told the story of a client who had something like 600 blog posts in their “drafts” section but hadn’t posted a single one! It sounded like me with my hundreds of ideas for stories and novels, but nothing completed. And my own blog — with only a few posts.

Lorraine’s advice is to just start writing – and posting! If it’s any consolation, you likely don’t have to worry, at least at the beginning, that many people will actually read what you’re writing. And the only way to get better is to do it. Practice makes perfect!

9. Know Your ‘Hook’

Your hook is what makes you different. What makes you stand out in the crowd? Although Gail Martin was specifically referring to book marketing when she raised this point, it’s crucial for anyone – in business or in your personal life.

For me, the takeaway point is this: we are all unique. We each have something special to offer. All we need to do is discover it and then present it effectively to the world. Of course, that’s easier said than done, but I believe we can all do it. Let’s create a world where we celebrate our differences and encourage each person to contribute their unique gift to the world.

10. Women create community through the power of story.

This point was raised by one of the few brave men who attended Women & Words this year. He noted how supportive and encouraging the atmosphere was at this conference, compared with many others he’d attended recently. I certainly felt it. There was so much love and positive energy flowing during this conference – it was truly awesome!

Perhaps this was partly due to the way the conference began. The elder storyteller of the Gitxsan Nation performed a ceremonial opening on the first morning of the conference. This experience was very powerful  Her wise energy infused me with a sense of community and an awareness of ‘story’ in every encounter throughout the conference — and beyond.

As I reflect on the ten main takeaway points summarized here and in Part ONE, I’m thrilled I was able to take so much away from a two-day conference! Women & Words infused me with the energy and enthusiasm I need to push forward in my own personal writing… and helped me clearly articulate my goal to publish a novel.  Thanks once again to all the hard-working conference organizers and volunteers.  I look forward with eager anticipation to attending next year.

However, it’s virtually impossible not to think about my own mother on this day. And so, I can’t help but wonder… where is she?

I’m not adopted, as you may assume. I know who my mom is. Although I lived with my father from age two, I had an ongoing relationship with my mom throughout my childhood and early twenties. And then, she just sort of disappeared. Sometime just before the turn of the century, she moved and didn’t forward her new address or phone number. A few months later, I moved as well.

Over the years I’ve occasionally looked online for her, without much success. Once or twice in the early days I did find her listed online but wasn’t in a place to make that call. I was hurt, although I didn’t want to admit it to myself for many years.

Over the last couple of days I’ve been extremely irritable and emotional. Short-tempered and impatient with my daughter. (Well, it could be that time of the month. That might have something to do with it.) However, it occurred to me yesterday… it might have just a little bit to do with the fact that yet another Mother’s Day has come around. And I still have no idea what happened to my mom.

What’s the point of this post? I’m not entirely sure, except… there’s a story inside me that needs to be written. I need to get it out there. I’m working on it bit by bit. This is one small step.

Happy Mother’s Day Mom, wherever you are.

I attended the inaugural Women & Words Conference in Coquitlam this past Friday and Saturday (April 29 & 30, 2011). What a fantastic event! My hat goes off to Pamela Chatry and her leadership team. I came away with my heart full of inspiration and my notebook full of tips.

I thought it would be helpful for me to identify my Top Ten Takeaway ideas from the conference. However, in the spirit of shorter blog posts, I’m only featuring five at a time. Here are the first five, in no particular order of importance, along with credit to the appropriate speaker(s).

1. Shift It

This concept came up in the very first workshop I attended with Brita McLaughlin as well as during an inspirational keynote address by Carla Rieger. Both speakers used this phrase to describe what to do if your creative process is blocked. Brita recommends doing something to shift your energy, such as: going for a walk in nature, using music to change your mood, switching from using a computer to a pen and notebook. Basically, just try something different to change your mood, shift your energy and renew your creative process.

Carla Rieger’s term is “switchover”. When she’s caught thinking about the myriad things she could be doing instead of writing, she mentally puts all of her “stuff” into a basket and puts it aside. I suppose it’s a little like flipping a switch in her head. Off goes the mental chatter and she can get on to the important task of writing. Although it’s probably harder than it sounds, I’m certainly going to give this one a try!

2. Flip It

Melody Biringer, founder of CRAVE came up with this idea after a few years of struggling with her CRAVE books. She realized the books were taking too much time and effort and not giving her a good ROI (return on investment). So she decided to completely “flip” her creative concept for the books. You can read the story in her new book, Craving Success.

The main takeaway point for me: if something isn’t working, then FLIP IT.  Melody suggested this quick exercise: make a list of ideas that are the opposite of what you’re currently doing. Somewhere in that list may be just the creative direction you need to go!

3. Tell a Story. (Tell Your Story.)

I liked Kathrin Lake’s reminder to include stories in nonfiction writing. Why? Because people remember stories. If you recall details from a speech, book or workshop from your distant past, it’s likely you remember the content tied to stories. Kathrin pointed out the memorable story in Daniel Goleman’s Emotional Intelligence, where young children are given the choice of eating one marshmallow immediately or two marshmallows if they can wait until the adult comes back into the room.  The children who were able to delay gratification tested much higher on the emotional intelligence scale later in life.

But the key takeaway point for me was Kathrin’s reminder to include your own personal story when writing a nonfiction book. I think this applies to blog writing, article writing and other types of nonfiction writing. If you want to connect meaningfully with your readers, at some point or another, you’re going to have to show your vulnerable side. Personally, I’m drawn to those writers who aren’t afraid to let it all hang out!

4. Know Your Purpose.

This was Tip #1 in Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen’s workshop on 10 Ways to Build a (Better) Blog. For obvious reasons, this tip resonated with me. And Laurie’s presentation certainly helped me refocus my purpose for this blog, which is to connect with my tribe — and inspire people to tell their unique story and live their unique purpose. Thanks Laurie!

5. Live with Compassion.

This was the primary message I took from Dr. Stephen Post’s inspiring keynote speech. As a mother raising a young daughter, his big question of “how do we raise caring children in today’s world” certainly resonated with me. I also enjoyed hearing the statistics showing that living an altruistic life leads to greater health and longevity.

Whew. No wonder I was exhausted after the Women & Words Conference.  That’s a lot of information to assimilate! If you’re ready for more, click here for Part TWO.

The Storytellers Creed

I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge.
That myth is more potent than history.
That dreams are more powerful than facts.
That hope always triumphs over experience.
That laughter is the only cure for grief.
And I believe that love is stronger than death.
-Robert Fulghum

I am a writer.  I am a storyteller.  And this IS my creed.

Perhaps, like me, your first sign that something isn’t right appears in your body. Maybe your throat feels tight, you’ve got butterflies in your belly, or it feels slightly difficult to breathe.

I felt that way this morning. I was driving home after a wonderful morning at a local women’s networking meeting, and wondering why I felt off. It was a beautiful and sunny day. My daughter was being looked after for the entire morning and I didn’t have to be home for another hour and a half or so.

And yet, my chest was tight. I felt anxious and unsure. I couldn’t decide what to do with the time I had left.

So, I stopped, found a quiet place and pulled out my journal and a pen.

Then I sat and wrote about my morning.

I’ve written in a journal since I was about eight or nine years old. For the past five years or so, I’ve rarely been without my journal and a pen. I make sure my journal fits whatever purse I’m carrying (or that my purse fits the journal!), and that I always have a pen.

And within two short pages of writing, I’d figured out what was wrong. I traced the thought patterns and things that I’d been saying to myself in my head. I discovered all of the shoulds that I was telling myself throughout the morning. I had completely stressed myself out about all the things I thought I should be doing with my time but wasn’t doing.

Then, I was able to let it all go. To change my focus to what I was grateful for. To regroup and clearly decide what it was I wanted to do, and what would be the best use of my time.

Writing things down can bring you greater clarity and focus to your day. It can illuminate large, emotional issues, or simply be a way to “download” some of the millions of things floating around in your brain. Even simply writing a to-do list on paper can be extremely effective when you’re feeling stressed.

If you don’t have a journal or notebook already, I encourage you to give it a try! Perhaps it sounds archaic in this electronic age, but it really works. Just write it down and see what happens.

It reminds me of how many nonprofit organizations communicate with their donors. There’s this tendency to go on and on about themselves… how great the organization is and what wonderful work they do, or about how many problems they have.

What they usually fail to do, or fail to do enough, is to really communicate with their donors, or potential donors. To get to know them. To speak to them as real people, with real feelings and issues of their own.

The same is true for many business communications as well.

Take a minute to look at your own communication pieces. Do you do this? If so, try to think of your communication materials as conversations. A good conversation has a give and take. A bit about you, a bit about me. You ask questions, you listen to the answers. You tell me how your day is going, then you ask how my day is.

Think of your last conversation with a good friend. You probably felt better after having it. Not like you needed to have a long hot shower, which is how I felt the other morning, after I finally managed to switch tables!